On the Jargon of Pregnancy

Pregnancy is everywhere these days. Every celeb is pregnant. The latest trend in non-maternity wear is maternity wear (seriously, walk through the Misses department at your local Kohl's, Macy's, or Penney's; or the Juniors department at Target). Teenage drug use is Out, Teenage Pregnancy is In (possibly the most disturbing news I've heard about high schoolers lately, and I used to watch Maury regularly!)

In all this coverage, however, a long-standing irritation of mine has come to the forefront. I must ask all of America (and the rest of the English-speaking world) to please, for the love of all that is sacred, STOP MAKING THE ACT OF GIVING BIRTH SOUND LIKE A CRUDE BODILY FUNCTION!

This is the miracle of life, people, regardless of who is producing it. Can we have a little respect please?

Thus, I would like to eliminate the following slang terms from common use (or any use relating to pregnancy):

• "Popping out": A baby is not a pimple.

• "Pushing out": A baby is not a bowel movement.

• "Belting out": The birthing process is not equivalent to the passing of gas. (Rosie's Aside: For shame, Dear Margo. I tend to hold you to a higher standard than that.)

Husband would like to interject that "Preggers" should be stricken from the vernacular as well, as it diminishes the seriousness with which we should take pregnancy, and it makes the speaker sound like s/he belongs in a trailer park.