Where're the Cheetos?!

I was listening to Elliot in the Morning on my ride in, and I have to say, I'm a lot more comfortable now with my less-than-social-butterfly ways. I may not go bar hopping or clubbing, I may not be a joiner, and I may be having a minor crisis of self over the fact that I have nothing low-key-but-cute to wear (sense a theme here?) to my friend's bachelorette party on Saturday. But I have real friends that I see pretty often. I do things outside my house. And I do not spend all my free time as a fake character in a fake game talking to other people who have equally empty lives.

Elliot was talking about World of Warcraft ("WOW" to the uninitiated; let's not point out that I am among the uninitiated) this morning, and he was getting calls and emails from people who were obsessed with it, who were married to people obsessed with it, who used to be obsessed with it, and/or whose lives were ruined by it.

One person called to say he only spent 5 hours a day playing, so he knew he was still this side of insane. Um, 5 hours?? Only?? Every day?? What else do you have time for in your life?

Another wrote in that WOW saved his life, that he had been an opium addict but that one of his friends had turned him onto WOW and he got so into the game that he stopped caring about getting high on opium and spent all his time playing the game. Dude. Put down the keyboard and get thee to an addiction/dependency counselor. You're not better - you've only traded one for the other.

One woman called to tell Elliot how she and her boyfriend made their relationship work with WOW, even though she didn't play. Because, see, he only played while she was at work, so he was able to spend time with her when she got home. Maybe I'm misunderstanding but, um, he doesn't work? You're honestly okay with going to work while he stays home and plays WOW all day because he pays attention to you when you come home? Really?

Another woman called in to say that she ended her engagement to her former fiance over WOW. When she was 6mo pregnant with his baby, she found out that he'd been meeting women (should there be quotes around that?) in the game and arranging for them to give him stripteases over webcam, went to meet a couple of them, and blew all their savings to build a new computer from the ground up to be dedicated for WOW. Yikes.

Back in college, I dated a guy who played Warcraft (not WOW; that didn't come out till later) a lot. A LOT. And it looked fun, and I wanted to play, but my computer kinda sucked, so no dice. Point: I understand that it can be a very fun and addictive game. But at least then there was still clearly a separation between Game and Life.

No fault on the developers of the game, only congrats to creating such a well-made product. No fault on those who have a handle on themselves and still voluntarily interact with other real live people on a regular basis (aside from those who pass your cubicle at work).

But WOWers - get a freaking grip. You're spending how much energy, money, and time to build up characters (excuse me - avatars) that don't exist except in binary; meanwhile your real lives are fading away. Just like in a bad relationship, when you find yourself turning down the chance to participate in real life in order to spend yet more time with your fake life, it's time to take a step back.