Am I Missing Out? (Part I)

I think everyone does this to some extent. It's a byproduct of having friends at all. We can't help but compare ourselves and our lives and wonder how they measure up.

Take Lindsay, who originally sparked this train of thought back in March. Lindsay is 28, single, and loving every minute of it. She has a successful career, her own house, a hopping social life, and a cat to curl up with when she feels like having an off-night. She goes out on dates and regales us with the stories - the good, the bad, and the ugly. She writes, she participates in a book club, she knows how to work a room, she's politically active. We were in the car riding back from a friend's baby shower, and she said that when we were in college, she assumed that by 24 she'd be married and thinking about kids; but right now, she doesn't want any of that! She's having way too much fun doing what she's doing!

I've been thinking about that for the last month. I never did any of that stuff. I never joined community activities, not even in college. The closest I ever came to a post-education extra-curricular activity was a single class in Russian (I'm good with languages) that I didn't follow up on due to lack of finances. I have my political opinions, but I would never join any sort of organization (could be related to the way I was raised: I now duck and cover when people start discussing politics.) I never barhopped; I never went out on weeknights; Hell, I never even really dated.

I married Husband at 25 and I love him to the cockles of my heart. I have a cat, I have well-enough paying job, I have a bunch of friends I love, so for all intents and purposes and when it comes down to it, I'm happy. But I sometimes secretly wonder if I missed out on something, on those experiences that for better or worse make us richer people. Am I truly happy as a homebody, as a one-on-one friend? Did I settle down into suburban domesticity too quickly?

I wonder what it would be like to go on dates instead of a relationship evolving from an already in-place friendship. I wonder what it would be like to go to another country solo (my friend Kristin is going to Spain unencumbered in a couple of weeks). I wonder what it would be like to join a book club. Or a hiking club. Or volunteer at a vineyard. I never did any of that, and I'm pretty sure it's all my own hang-ups that hold me back. (Don't misunderstand - Husband would never keep me from doing anything I wanted to. Though he might frown on the dating thing.)

I could probably expound on this for hours. But there is no real answer and this is only a blog, and though you're a semi-captive audience, you are not my shrink, and I'd rather not bore you senseless if you're not getting paid for it. But I imagine this will be a recurring theme, so that's enough for now.