Open Letter: Summer 2010

Dear Crotchety Document Author:

How nice for you that you were an English major and that you can't countenance sending something grammatically incorrect as a deliverable. But client direction does not bow to your professors' whims. When your professor starts paying us untold millions to write documents for him, then he can dictate that "veteran" not be capitalized in all instances, even when referring to former military personnel. As it stands, our client is paying us to do just that. They pay the bills, they make the rules. I know it stung your technically-one-level-more-senior-than-I ego that, when you demanded written proof (as it's obvious I spend my time making these things up just to make you jump through hoops), I was able to provide a 19 month old email proving my case.

Furthermore, so sorry, but I did not delete any of your tables' background shading, and it sounds instead like Word simply had a stroke. I can only deduce that you do not work often in Microsoft Office suite products, and therefore are unaware that sometimes those programs do some wacky shit with no rhyme or reason. I'm fairly well convinced that deep in the coding lies Satan himself. Until you come up with a better and more stable word processing program, however, it is often better to suffer the proverbial slings and arrows and merely patch back together what went the way of socks in the dryer than to point fingers and accuse overburdened QC personnel of deliberately sabotaging your document. Sucks, but such is life.

Have a shiny day!

~Rosie

P.S. I'm so glad you didn't mean to "infer" that the technical snafu was malicious on my part. But what I'm sure your grammatically infallible self meant was "imply."