Hypocrisy

I am, to this day, befuddled that the fashion rags always send their issues a month in advance. The July issue arrives in early June, the August issue arrives in early July, and the January issue arrives the previous year. Perhaps it's with the idea that you can get a jump on the styles because you followed their advice or got the hot tip. Too bad I read them for a laugh as much as anything.

So I'm paging through my July issue of Glamour (less skanky than Cosmo, but doesn't take itself as seriously as Vogue) and I'm at the "Hey, it's OK!" section (page 106 if you're curious), where they ostensibly tell you things you already know but need to actually hear in order to get a grip and realize you're not a freak for doing/thinking/saying whatever. (Real life example: "Hey, it's OK.... to press 0 to speak to a live human every single time." Does anybody actually have a hangup about that?)

The last thing that Glamour has deemed it OK to do this month (June or July, I still don't know) is "to think the fireworks were a wee bit excessive. Ooh, ahh, how many small countries could that have fed?"

This, after recommending (in their Animal Prints spread on page 48/49) a $495 Nanette Lepore jacket from Neiman Marcus, a $268 Elie Tahari skirt, and a $495 DKNY dress. This, after recommending (in their Waterproof Stuff That Will Stay On! spread on page 40) a $57 YSL foundation compact and a $45 Sephora bronzer. This, before advertising (in their Wear White spread on pages 132 - 139) a $125 cocktail ring and a $128 cuff bracelet. This, before flaunting (in their 8 Style Ideas That Make Every Woman Look Sexy spread, on pages 140 - 149) "a dress that shows off your curves" to the tune of $4,995, "anything with a halter shape" for the bargain price of $5,290, "sleek casual pants" for $2,595, "sky-high heels" at $1,235, "your comfiest jeans" for $380, "a cardi[gan]" at a mere $495, a dress with "cutouts that show your skin" for only $1,700, and "a top that's cut low" - a steal at $2,450.

Those are just some of the highlights. Now, Glamour, we only shoot off fireworks a couple of times a year at very special occasions. You advertise items like this in every issue.

Now, what was that about small countries?

Happy Fourth!